@RandomAntics: I'd get my mind out of the gutter, but I think it's wrong to remove an animal from its natural habitat.
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@murrman5: [family hears me pull in driveway] wife: please don't wrestling announcer: sorry ma'am he already paid me. NOW ENTERING THE HOUSE FROM WORK
@natalayhehoo: If I ever want to hide something from my husband I'd put it in the dishwasher- he'd never look in there
@Sassafrantz: [crime scene] photographer: I'm done unless you want another angle or something. detective: let's do a jumping one!