@JaneBadall: "I'd hit that." Clearly what my head thinks about cupboard doors and other hard surfaces when I least expect it.
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@jus4golf: I once went out with a girl that said she was flexible like a Slinky. Two flights of stairs later, I decided she wasn't.
@EndhooS: [Bunch of 6 year olds knock on my door] "TRICK OR TREAT!" You kids are in for a real treat... *slips each of them a copy of my demo tape*
@byrdie_num_num: My wife and I used to describe our marriage as 'forever', now we both prefer the term 'ad nauseam'.