@swiftenhaal: "I'd hit that!" -Helpful blackjack dealer
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@Jazzzzzmina: Why is it when you take a break from Twitter everyone assumes you're happy and in love... Maybe I was in jail.
@RatBatallion: The first rule of Mormon fight flub is go door to door talking about Mormon fight club .
@nathandeschaine: Jurassic Park (1993): An old man with ungodly amounts of money doesn't have any common sense.
@Ilovelamp1979: Every idiot in Florida just turned on their electric heater & they crashed the grid. Now I'm forced to watch my neighbor sleep in the dark.