@WhiteMale: "I'd hit that!" -- me gazing at rock bottom
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@fro_vo: [cemetery] *priest says a final prayer* *harambe's casket is lowered into the ground* *toddler falls in*
@fillthevacuum: Doggy day care is like a regular day care except you have to enter from the rear.
@batkaren: [orchestra] VIOLIN 1: *pssst* Can I ask you a dumb question? VIOLIN 2: Um, okay. V1: What's up w/the guy in front waving his arms around?