@WhiteMale: "I'd hit that!" -- me gazing at rock bottom
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@WheelTod: [Date] Him: I don't trust myself around you Her(flirtatiously): Oh, stop Him: I bought an iPad on your credit card when you went to bathroom
@Retacof: Officer: You were speeding. Me: I am trying to keep up with traffic. O: There Is no traffic. M: I am really far behind.
@KeetPotato: this is the worst weather ive ever seen "what about when the wind had sharks in it?" that was a movie dad "oh excuse me weather expert"
@OneFunnyMummy: Before kids: I'd choose going blind over going deaf. After kids: Deaf! I wanna be deaf!