@goldengateblond: I'd ... I'd rather not.
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@Itskarleytime: Guy at a bar: wanna come back to my place? Me: *elaborate excuse* Guy: did you just say elaborate excuse?
@ArinLeeMorris: In the near future, little old ladies won't know how to sew, knit, or quilt, but they'll take awesome self-pics in bathroom mirrors.
@ifuseekamynow: 7: mommy can I play on your computer? Me: later 7: what do you mean by later? Me: I'm hoping you forget.
@Bill_Nye_Tho__: elephants sleep standing up you could be chillin with an elephant and at any moment they could just be like "lmao for sure, g'night"