@BertCarrillo: I'd jump in front of a gently tossed beach ball for you.
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@mackswift: Ladies, not every guy who talks to you wants to bang you. Some of us know that you have snacks in your purse.
@man_spach: My Ebola outbreak brings the CDC to the yard and they're like, sir that's just irritable bowel syndrome.
@thenatewolf: *A coyote bites my leg in front of a girl I like but I wanna seem cool so I just keep walking and take it with me*