@richforri: "I'd kill you if I thought I could get away with it".......things that were said to me during my divorce. Hey guy's, she's available!
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@Try2StopME: I'm going to the gym now. Not bragging. Just want you to know where to send the ambulance.
@david8hughes: [hears baby crying in the next room] "It's ok, I'll go." [gets in car & goes to a motel]
@JamieGreenlees: If Scientists invent a pill to make us immortal, I guarantee I'd choke to death swallowing it.
@CroweJam: Named my hamster Spam so when he dies I can bury him in a little tin coffin with his name on it.