@richforri: "I'd kill you if I thought I could get away with it".......things that were said to me during my divorce. Hey guy's, she's available!
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@caperbc75: My dream girl? Dirty blond hair, strong arms, cold eyes, immaculately shaped facial hair, no remorse -Are you describing Chuck Norris? Yes
@SaraMansford: So I called up the Captain, please bring me my wine. He said: "ma'am, this is a cruise. Please don't call me again if there's no emergency"
@OBiiieeee: Hello, 911? *twirls phone cord around finger* sooooo how was your day? Did you arrest any bad guys?...No you hang up first! Hello? 911?
@jazmasta: By DAY he's just a regular accountant. But at NIGHT he becomes a trash ravaging raccoon... "Raccountant".. Coming this fall on Fox