@countrybredred: I'd let you be the reason my cheeks blush.. All four of them
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@_SingleBabyMama: My phone died at the gym and I had to do the elliptical with zero entertainment like the pioneers did in the olden days.
@KelleysBreakRm: When I open the washing machine lid mid-cycle, I feel like I've entered a party where everybody suddenly stops dancing and stares at me.
@MelvinofYork: Well hello, "Party-Size" bag of Doritos. Welcome to my party! There will be no other guests.
@FuckabillyRex: Tonight I sleep on a bed of fried chicken and biscuits. The colonel drizzles me with gravy. Is this heaven or hell? It's both.