@countrybredred: I'd let you be the reason my cheeks blush.. All four of them
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@shkeeber: Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over? Me: You love me? Cop: Me: Cop: Me: Is it because I'm driving a lawnmower? Cop: Yes. Me: *floors it*
@LOsepyan: If those Amazon drones can really get to your house in 30 minutes then condoms are about to become their #1 selling item.
@chuuew: ME What's a penguins favourite relative? Aunt Arctica! PENGUIN . . ME [makes flies over head motion] PENGUIN I don't know what that means
@hammbone84: [Tornado siren blaring] Wife: Let's go to the basement. Me: There will be no line at Pizza Hut buffet. Wife: Me: I'll bring you a salad.