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@bazecraze: I'd like to have a child one day. Two days, tops.
@Dani_Feld: Me: I wish for a lightsaber.
Genie: Be realistic.
Me: Ok, I wish for a boyfriend.
Genie: Would you like your lightsaber in blue or green?
@kumailn: "Every family on 2013 had 'quite the year'." - study conducted using Christmas newsletters
@Donna_McCoy: My favorite part of Zumba is mortgaging my house to pay the chiropractor.
@heatherlou_: Why are people still calling my phone I thought we covered this at orientation...
@AbrasiveGhost: Wife: u can take Max to the park but ur not gonna wrestle other ppls dogs
Me in a spandex singlet: Im 16-0 Karen I have a title to uphold