@maebemarbles: I'd like to meet those almond milk farmers. Shake their teeny hands.
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@avxlanche: the difference between me and humpty dumpty is that his friends looked at him and thought to themselves "we should put him back together"
@OhNoSheTwitnt: I hate when people say "you always want what you don't have" like that's really insightful and not just explaining the definition of "want."
@TheAlexP: [1st date] *recalls buddy said women like a manly man* *but also, be sensitive* I like to work with my hands, But splinters make me cry.