@maebemarbles: I'd like to meet those almond milk farmers. Shake their teeny hands.
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@matt___nelson: BODY: i'm exhausted BRAIN: neat BODY: let's sleep BRAIN: nah BODY: c'mon BRAIN: a dog named Ralph BODY: BRAIN: can almost say his own name
@truegritrumble: ME:John's coming over for dinner. WIFE:Work John or Been to Europe John? JOHN:*from outside* This door reminds me of one I saw in England.
@LoveNLunchmeat: I used to think people who looked for sex on craigslist were rock bottom... Then I discovered twitter.