@schumyxxx: I'd like to schedule a disappointment.
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@squirrel74wkgn: Wife: Honey, I'm upstairs! *undresses on the run like Superman* Be right up! *stands naked in doorway* Wife: Do you remember... Pam: Hi
@DanMentos: "Hey girl wanna go out Saturday night?" No thanks I have a previous engagement "I'm cool with that, hell I've been married like 6 times"
@ClichedOut: ME: My goal is to be king, like my dad. HER: That's amazing. Of what country? ME: It was his goal, Linda. And now it's mine.
@Sean_Burgundy_: I always try to hold in my sneezes so I don't give someone a reason to talk to me