@Duke1173: I'd like to thank the British for wearing red coats and making it easier to shoot them 238 years ago. We couldn't have done this without you
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@Pumpkinbabypie: Thin eyeliner today. *left one goes fatter *right one goes fatter *left one goes fatter *right one goes fatter *covers entire face.
@Lexi__Alexandra: I read in the 1930's teething babies were given cocaine. Ridiculous! If they had tooth ache they probably didn't even want to party.
@MelKassel: *pulling up to toll both with megaphone in hand* Booth operator: ma'am please not again Me: someBODY once tolled me—
@msbtx: "Snitches get stitches," I whisper to my 3 year old as he watches me brush Oreo crumbs from the bed sheets.