@just1fool: I'd like to thank the spider that descended from the bill of my baseball cap for getting me motivated today.
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@thesupergrobi: Stop telling men beards alone will make women love them when everyone knows they need to play the guitar too.
@Goofpoops: Someone on Facebook posted "Having the BEST DAY EVER!!" So I posted the Sarah Mclachlan animal cruelty video in the comments
@mattytalks: A very busty woman whispers to me "I want you to tell me if these look real" my eyes widen, then she takes out pictures of the moon landing
@daemonic3: FRIEND: Make sure you walk her to her car [hours later after date] HER: It's been 18 miles ME: I insist HER: But you drove both of us