@13spencer: I'd like to think that my exes see me as "the one who got away," but it's probably more like "the one who got away from the police."
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@CEHudspeth: "I can try" is a great response to invitations because you're not even committing to trying.
@JoParkerBear: How To Avoid Dating ●You're too young for me. ●I'm too young for you. ●I don't date men my age. ●Okay, but after I finish my antibiotics.
@carlyken: The Shawshank Redemption but it's just me tunneling from my office to the break room so I don't have to talk to my boss.
@djdarrellripley: Him: Hey, you really think that doing all those shots are going to make you forget that you got fired? Me: I got fired?