@13spencer: I'd like to think that my exes see me as "the one who got away," but it's probably more like "the one who got away from the police."
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@KateQFunny: Me: What kind of tools do I need to make a cake? Him: The fact that you're calling ingredients tools means u shouldnt be in charge of this.
@just1fool: You know what they say about a man with average sized feet. It's really easy to find shoes for him.
@1Happytwit: If you're already in the cop car, I really can't see how puking in it could make things any worse.
@abbycohenwl: -You think I'd make a bad Private Eye 'cause I can't read body language? I will prove you wrong! -Sir, you're talking to the murder victim