@Sarcasmo718: I'd love to see Jason Statham's face when he finds out you can turn down movie roles.
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@xLiserx: Me: 6 tacos, please. Him: This is an ice cream truck. Me: 6 tacos & a swirl cone. Him: We don't serve tacos. Me: Your taco truck is broken.
@david8hughes: [first day as a soldier] Army guy: we deploy at 04:00hrs Me: where we going? Army guy: to war, soldier Me [setting alarm for 11am]: ok enjoy
@pleatedjeans: [house being raided] [swat guy crashes through window, lands on slip n slide I placed there for this exact reason and slides out front door]