@Sarcasmo718: I'd love to see Jason Statham's face when he finds out you can turn down movie roles.
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@GrantTanaka: Jesus: I HAVE RETURNED [wife & I arguing about who used the last paper towel or some other shit] Jesus: OK I'MMA COME BACK LATER
@knot_eye: Even though she's not Native American, my Wife always sends smoke signals to let me know when dinner is ready.
@Easy_Tiger__: Guys remember: if you encounter a girl in her natural habitat, don't panic. She's just as scared as you. Make loud noises, she will run off.
@squirrel74wkgn: I'm a 40 yr old man sitting at a Café with my eyes closed, squirting packets of mayo from under the table at the window as people walk by.