@WeissBrandon: I'd never lie just to get a girl to sleep with me, is one of my favorite lies to tell girls that I am trying to sleep with.
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@GrumpyBahr: CW: My wedding is going to be expensive! Me: Wait till you see what the divorce is going to cost you!
@JennyJohnsonHi5: My Mormon neighbor said it was rude I assumed her husband's surprise birthday party invitation was also an invitation to be her sister wife.
@blaudiablogan: It is truly easier to forgive your enemies than figure out how to limit their access to your facebook page.