@Tmoney68: "I'd pap that." - Gynecolgist
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@Lakeoconeebldr: This 5 year old is taking a call from his secret agent on a calculator and now I hate my phone.
@chrischromak: trump: u gave hillary 3 scoops of ice cream & i only got 2 icecream guy: u ate the first scoop already trump: ive never eaten ice cream ever
@DrunksWithGuns: *Bar fight* Friend: you go high, I'll go low. Me: Ok. *friend tackles guy at waist* *me, singing falsetto*
@AnOrangeSNES: [Victora's Secret] Wife: You're the most supportive person I know. *A person made of bras walks by* Me: Um what about that guy?