@Sean_Burgundy_: I'd probably have more friends if I didn't answer every call with "Why did you save my number?"
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@SADCHICANA: why do people romanticize the 1950s? like calm down, we still have milkshakes and racism
@mishakey: I never close my eyes in the shower because that's how murderers know when to show up and kill you.
@Lisabug74: A man suffered a heart attack at the drive thru. I quickly Macgyvered a pencil to his electric car & defibrillated him. I was that hungry.
@IamEnidColeslaw: There is a dude in a fedora sitting next to you on the bus. Is he: A. a ghost hunter B. a virgin C. a sword collector D. all of the above