@kirbys4losers: I'd rather be with a man who blows his load too soon rather than starts singing too soon in a song. How embarrassing for both of us.
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@AmishPornStar1: Being attacked by a shark is frightening enough... But it's even more terrifying when you notice he also has a big cold sore on his lip.
@litfirebird: Hiring manager: what would you say are your greatest weaknesses? Me: probably men with hairy knuckles. Oh, and a moist pot roast.