@kirbys4losers: I'd rather be with a man who blows his load too soon rather than starts singing too soon in a song. How embarrassing for both of us.
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@andylassner: The Samsung Galaxy is a cool phone if you don't mind carrying around a 42" screen.
@CornOnTheGoblin: [police sketch artist interrupts me again] ok now you're definitely describing sonic the hedgehog
@NikiWithIssues: I hit a parked car today so naturally I left a note. It said "Die, Decepticons! Die!"
@TheDairylandDon: Boy. A zombie outbreak sure could get a solid foothold on a day like today, with all this tomfoolery and whatnot. Be safe out there, guys.