@Real_Countress: I'd rather everyone think I had a serious cocaine problem then them know I just finished a bag of powdered donuts to myself
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@TheAlexNevil: Darth: You should not have come back, old man. Obi Wan: I DIDN'T. I was going to Alderaan. You caught our ship with a tractor beam. Idiot.
@sofarrsogud: *maintains eye contact while checking 'Dating Librarians For Dummies' out from the library.
@Vodkantots: If your boyfriend doesn't buy you chocolates today, it's probably because he thinks you're fat.
@DanMentos: “Ever wonder why Rice Krispies costs the same as quieter cereals?” why would- “It’s because they're sold by weight-“ Dan, NO “not by volume"