@Real_Countress: I'd rather everyone think I had a serious cocaine problem then them know I just finished a bag of powdered donuts to myself
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@online_rat: sorrey im bad with names. im also bad with faces,, i put my grandma in a headlock, thinking she was the kid that stole my bike in 3rd grade
@BreadFoster: I "pet zone" girls. It's like the friend zone, but, I only hang out if your dog will be there.
@DaddyBeerGuy: My daughter is worse than a twitter newbie.. She manually Retweets everything I say... To my wife!
@rickkondell: Surfing is a good choice for people who like skateboarding but wish it had more sharks.