@Kim_pulsive: I'd rather my son bring home a pregnant girl than head lice
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@Lakelandr: There's never been a single day in my life when I thought to myself " thank god the cops are here"
@RunJeffreyRun: I just saw a guy with the Monster energy logo tattooed on his neck, so if your village is missing their idiot, we have him.
@OhNoSheTwitnt: Some coworkers sign emails with "cheers" or "sincerely" followed by their names but I typically use "you've made a powerful enemy today."