@adamzopf: I'd run a marathon but I don't know if I can handle the commitment. I mean a lifetime of telling every person you meet you ran a marathon?
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@ShortWhiteNUgly: An 8 yr old boy was screaming at the grocery store because his mom wouldn't buy him a Mars bar. So I bought one and ate it in front of him.
@AimeeHelene1: At my funeral, I want them to play "Thriller" and have someone that looks like me climb out of a casket, dancing. (wins at death)
@The_MartiniGirl: I really was gonna jog at the park today....but I just found an empty park bench so I'll just have a few smokes and cheer the joggers on.
@JasonBerlin: 1. Bang knee on table - curse life. 2. Check credit card balance. 3. Think back to sweet moment when you banged knee on table.