@HRTSMRT: I'd say at least 10% of parenting is smelling stuff.
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@VenisVal: It's easier to compliment a woman when you're traveling with a toddler. "Son, say hi to the beautiful lady with the piercing green eyes."
@Mr_Kapowski: 8 year old daughter: I wish I had been born a twin Me: You were a very hungry fetus- Wife: Ok that's enough time with Dad for today
@david8hughes: [ouija board] "Spirits are u there? I A M H E R E. Y O U W A N N A T A L K? Y O U W A N N A H A N G O U T? [squints] "A needy board?"
@SmurfetteDE: Hey people - learn to spell!!! I mean my co-workers. Twitter, you guys actually do pretty well, considering half of you are probably drunk.