@AntozWolf: I'd say go to hell, but I don't want to see you again.
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@sofarrsogud: My son was like 'I got a D in my maths' and I was like 'That's really bad' and my wife was like 'you need to stop doing his homework'.
@UnfilteredMama: My greatest accomplishment as a parent has been convincing my kids that Chuck E Cheese closes for “flu season.”
@AcerbicSuburban: Secretly adding a tablespoon of butter to everything he eats is my long-term exit plan.