@AntozWolf: I'd say go to hell, but I don't want to see you again.
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@pleatedjeans: [cruising down highway in friend's car with windows down] me: [opens bag of glitter]
@ScorpionDong: Favorite cannibal movies: 3) Cannibal Holocaust 2) Cannibal Ferox 1) She's Having a Baby
@samalmightysam: My girlfriend told me she loved me and wanted to marry me so I shot her in self defense.
@Kim_pulsive: I plan to scary-haunt anyone who says "she wouldn't want us to be sad" at my funeral. If you're not sad that I'm gone forever you deserve it