@bwebster76: I'd take Cap'n Crunch more seriously if his eyebrows weren't on his hat.
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@SteveSuckington: ME: will it hurt? DR: u ever been stung by like, 500 bees? ME: omg no! DR: ok. that's not what it's gonna feel like. I was just wondering
@MikeOdenthal: i hate sex and have no libido but i still date because i love explaining to women why the music they like is bad
@bencoffeehall: If peeing was an Olympic event, I would win gold. But then I would miss the awards ceremony because I was taking a leak.