@bwebster76: I'd take Cap'n Crunch more seriously if his eyebrows weren't on his hat.
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@shutupmikeginn: Girl on my bus has a therapy dog with a marked vest and I was like, "what kind of therapy is he in?" because of course I said that
@Thynebear: Did you seriously hire a mentally unstable person to drive our kids just so you could say he's driving them crazy? Me as a principal: Maybe
@IncrediblyRich: After six years of being responsible, I finally went and lost my phone last night. I'm currently using Twitter from the web. LIKE A CAVEMAN.
@shariv67: "Your honor, my client is absolutely not a flight risk."n"What makes you so sure?"n"He is a penguin."