@bwebster76: I'd take Cap'n Crunch more seriously if his eyebrows weren't on his hat.
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@Sickayduh: "Well, congrats. You're a homeowner now. Any questions?" "Yeah. Sam put those glasses on eBay, why didn't the Decepticons just bid on em?"
@slimmy_shady: CarefulWhere's your shoesPlease stop cryingMaybe eat somethingYou dropped the bottle- things you say to babies & drunks.
@ScorpionDong: Favorite cannibal movies: 3) Cannibal Holocaust 2) Cannibal Ferox 1) She's Having a Baby
@VaguelyFunnyDan: When my toddlers ask where mommy is, I explain that she's gone to heaven. That way they're super-excited when she gets back from the gym.