@SortaBad: Idea: a neck tattoo that depicts a man having an unsuccessful job interview because of his neck tattoo
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@jordangerous: Facebook: My little man is the best thing that's ever happened to me! Twitter: Free baby. DM for details.
@TheMichaelRock: Me: Where's your maternity section? Her: Over there. How far along is she? Me: Her? I'm shopping for my Thanksgiving pants. Her...
@FattMernandez: For my niece's 7th birthday, I'm filling a pinata with a smaller pinata. When she breaks it open I'm gonna yell "Oh God! She was pregnant!"