@SortaBad: Idea: a neck tattoo that depicts a man having an unsuccessful job interview because of his neck tattoo
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@amphy1981: (Showing off new car) Father-in-law: Looks good, what engine has it got? Me: *ultra confident* a grey & black one
@SammySkinns: Recent studies show that eating bacon or other red meats increases your chances of dying by 20% So apparently I have a 120% chance of dying
@shariv67: They said I'd have to kiss a lot of frogs before finding my prince. I never found him, but I did find out I'm REALLY into frogs.
@JennyJohnsonHi5: One way to find out if you're old is to fall down in front of a group of people. If they laugh, you're young, if they panic, you're old.