@MariyaAlexander: Idea: Breathalyzer tests at the airport, to make sure you're drunk enough
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@MythicPicnic: Bought a new exercise program Instructions said to stop if I felt any discomfort So I did
@DillDoes: *Burglar breaks into my room* *he looks around* *he softly wakes me up* Dude do you need some money or something? I'd be happy to help
@BlairLoudly: *dresses like a kitty* *climbs tree* *waits for new fireman husband to come rescue me*
@schmittsteve: - Dracula darling, you have something stuck in your teeth. - Vhere, here? - No... - Here? - No, just go look in- - GO LOOK IN WHAT, SARAH?