@meganamram: Idea: "Celebrity Price Is Right" where Gwyneth Paltrow guesses that loaves of bread cost $460
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@jonnysun: maybe the white peopel who are scared of immigrants are only scared b/c they kno what white peopel did when they first immigrated to america
@TheWoodenslurpy: [at stadium with child] Me: That is batball. [at the races] Me: That is horse circles. [at the opera] Me: This is horned yodeling.
@DevilryFun: You don't need a therapist when you have a strong support group around your barstool.
@YoungNobler: Congrats to everyone who just got cast in the new Star Wars movie. The film industry is telling you they think you look like an alien.