@victt0ri: Idea for an app:
it's basically Tinder, but for people that want to fight
@TheBoydP: Fact: A good beer will not lose its label after sitting in a cooler of ice water all week.
Related: Why is there still beer in the cooler??
@runolgarun: *TSA officer opens my suitcase, disembodied fist pops out and punches him*
me: sry sir I forgot I packed a powerful punch
*TSA guns me down*
@GoldenSpirals: A truck just flipped a dead squirrel onto my windshield and it's stuck in my wiper.
I guess I don't have to stop to get supper tonight.
@BestWorstAdvice: If you love something, let it go. If it doesn't comeback, tell everyone she has herpes.
@thentherewasmo: Renee Zellweger is living proof that if you keep making that face it's going to be stuck that way forever