@PaperWash: idea for haunted house: dimly lit grocery store sprinkled with people you haven't talked to since high school
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@TheAlexNevil: *I gently close front door Dog: Where have you been?? I was worried sick about you! See that vomit on the floor? That's because of you!
@VallyOfTheLilly: Him: Let's grill this steak Me: *slams table, screams at steak* WHO SOLD YOU THE DRUGS Him: that's not- Me: Refusing to talk? BIG MISTEAK
@lgbk44: as a kid, I used to think $1,000 was a lot of money. But now that I'm an adult, I think it's a tremendous amount of money