@BlaccieAintShit: Idgaf about nothin y'all better help me get this s550 😂 naw but I'm serious RT!
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@iGreenMonk: To Do List : 1: Buy 4 Pigs 2: Paint numbers 1,2,3 & 5 on their backs 3: Release them in Wal-Mart 4: Sit back watch Security search for #4
@sixfootcandy: [camping] Him: Did you eat the last s'more? Me: No. Him: You're lying. Me: How do you know? Him: Your pants are literally on fire.
@TweetingDadGuy: Please women who wear 1 inch heels. What's the point? You look ridiculous. What difference does 1 inch really make? Don't answer that.
@pattonoswalt: "Snowmageddon"? We can do better, Twitter. #SnowCountryForOldMen #ISnowWhatYouDidLastWinter #SnowMommaFromTheTrain #Snowverfield