@Savage_Scavange: Idiots are fun, no wonder every village wants one.
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@MarylandMudflap: Slowly crawl towards your sleeping dog, put your face directly next to its face, and whisper "I know it's been you shitting in my yard."
@JeremyBRoberts: Scott Walker is dropping out of the Presidential race. In a nationwide poll of likely voters nearly 98% responded to the news with, "Who?"
@kellymcc0y: When someone spaces out their "ha ha ha's" in a text I read it in Count Dracula's voice