@Savage_Scavange: Idiots are fun, no wonder every village wants one.
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@mollzbenn: I made a grocery list last night when I was drunk and it just says "healthy stuff," "looob," and "you don't own me."
@rolldiggity: Bully: "Hey, four eyes!" Me: "Don't you mean... fork eyes?" [Turns around. Stabs bully with forks tied to glasses. Becomes class president.]
@BastardProphet: "This isn't my first rodeo." He said, confidently. "Now help me get on this pointy cow."
@rockymomax: BAILIFF: do you swear to tell the whole truth and nothing but the ME: no JUDGE: [flipping through law handbook] what do we do if he says no?