@cervixsmash: If a 99 pound person eats 1 pound of nachos that person is 1% nacho
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@TheMichaelRock: Me: Got a hot date this weekend? Coworker: Ummm...no. Me: I know. I was just reminding you. Coworker....
@DillDoes: Being a worm must great. Its like "wow that dirt was great I hope there's more" and there always is
@PinkCamoTO: *interview for new roommate* Ninja: I know it's a small place, but you won't even know I'm here.