@cervixsmash: If a 99 pound person eats 1 pound of nachos that person is 1% nacho
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@AJslackie2: 2007 social media: wow connected with an old friend from high school 2017 social media: the cheese smoked gouda is linked to racism
@TheIronSherk: If my ex had an autobiography it would be called "Mein Cramps" What, did you NOT SEE that one coming?
@phxguy88: A Facebook friend posted 8 pictures of himself fixing a lawnmower, so I drove over and shot him. It just felt like the right thing to do.