@briangaar: If a bear attacks you, play dead. Ok good, you're about to feel like this forever
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@jewfacekilla: Him: Would you like to have lunch sometime? Me: I like to have lunch every afternoon.
@markleggett: I often think "Why would anyone live in Gotham? It's a shithole!", but then you choose to live in the shithole that is [YOUR CITY NAME].
@MuttCutts: "Lloyd, could you keep your eyes on the road, please?" Oh. Yea. Good thinkin'. Can't be too careful. A lot of bad drivers out there.
@JohnLyonTweets: Les Miserables was pretty good but I wish I'd had some kind of warning that everyone in it would be so unhappy.