@briangaar: If a bear attacks you, play dead. Ok good, you're about to feel like this forever
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@DanMentos: *guy struggling to pick his teeth with a toothpick* Narrator: Don't you wish there were a better way? -commercial for business cards
@buhsbaby_baby: Relationship Status: just tried to reach for my dog's paw and he pulled it away so I pretended I was reaching for the remote.
@AndyAsAdjective: Just the other day, I asked my mom at what age do children start really listening to their parents but I don't remember what her answer was.