@LizHackett: If a bear confronts you in the woods, make it go away by handing it a flyer for your boyfriend's band's show.
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@Birdhumms: 70% of being married is just wondering which of us is going to benefit from the life insurance.
@Cheeseboy22: My google search history is just 12 different incorrect spellings of the word "restaurant."
@Slims_Ramblings: Just listened to a conversation between 3 people under 18 and now I don't know how my Mom or a stranger didn't murder me as a teenager.
@marebytes: In my opinion - until they add extra fries, a martini & a joint - they have no business calling it a Happy Meal