@LizHackett: If a bear confronts you in the woods, make it go away by handing it a flyer for your boyfriend's band's show.
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@jonnysun: whenever i see sombody obsessively taking photos of the sunset, i go up to them & whisper "dont worry.. the sun is gonna come back tomorow"
@Thynebear: Where do you see yourself in five years? Me: In a mirror probably unless new technology exists. [interviewer thinking] holy smokes he's good
@Ooft_Headshot: Toy Story has resulted in me not being able to throw away my childhood toys in case they get depressed and want to kill themselves.