@tigersgoroooar: If a boy put rose petals all over my bed I’d be like you’re cleaning this up I’m not cleaning this up
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@TankCesar: My doctor tells me I'm healthy enough for sexual activity...I'm just not attractive enough.
@Philosopherbing: Actual warning I saw in a pamphlet: "You may be at risk for throat cancer if you have a throat or mouth." Oh shit....
@Cheeseboy22: I saw this heartwarming video of baby bears climbing out of a dumpster and thought, "Who would throw away a perfectly good baby bear?"
@Donna_McCoy: Reduce stage fright with a little vodka before the show. Bring enough vodka for everyone, and you won't even have to perform.