@Rollinintheseat: If a British person calls 911 and says, "It's a bloody mess" how does the operator know if there's blood or the person is just being British
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@juliussharpe: Meet your girlfriend's brother then realize you're screwing the female version of a guy.
@dire_beard: [At a child's birthday party, holding a poorly taxidermied possum] I heard someone likes stuffed animals!
@garrydavenport: Me: "If Americans say 'sidewalk', what do we mean in England?" My six year old: "Crab!"