@MaritalFauxPas: If a cannibal kills me he better have the right kind of Zip-loc bags! If I get tossed out because of freezer burn I'm going to be pissed!
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@robwhisman: don't hate robert altman's 1992 satirical comedy "the player" hate david fincher's 1997 psychological thriller "the game"
@Brianhopecomedy: A person followed me and then unfollowed me within 3 minutes. How can they judge me after only seeing 47 tweets?
@egg_dog: don't eat yellow snow is a pretty sound rule but i would warn against eating any kind of weather
@PetrickSara: The most horrifying thing I've ever heard: "MOMMY! MOMMY! I think I just did SCIENCE in the bathroom!"