@MaritalFauxPas: If a cannibal kills me he better have the right kind of Zip-loc bags! If I get tossed out because of freezer burn I'm going to be pissed!
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@IvoryGazelle: Ugh I can’t stand him. I’m not gonna go into it but let me just say this... [40 min later] ...and you should see the way he ties his shoes, I hope he dies
@woodmuffin: "For my next illusion" the magician announces: "Free will!" Everyone starts clapping but they don't know why