@AristotlesNZ: If a cop is at the door when I answer, I yell into the house "Anyone order a stripper?" then say "Sorry, wrong house" & slam the door shut.
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@bourgeoisalien: I misspelled "marriage" and Auto Correct changed it to "mirage." What do you know that I don't, Auto Correct?
@Courtniss_: There's a special hole in my backyard for people to hit me in the back of the ankles with a shopping cart.
@Token_Geezer: Why did he do that? Who is she? What does that mean? When did that happen? Why? How? I need to go to the toilet. - Child, at the cinema
@UniqueDude2: ME: WOW! Bigfoot! BIGFOOT: Hey Smallfoot M: U call us Smallfoot? BF: U have small feet M: no, urs r big BF: mine r normal M: huh BF: see ya