@AristotlesNZ: If a cop is at the door when I answer, I yell into the house "Anyone order a stripper?" then say "Sorry, wrong house" & slam the door shut.
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@Hormonella: SQUIRREL! SQUIRREL! CAT! SQUIRREL! SQUIRREL! MAILMAN! SQUIRREL! ~ Dog Acing Rorschach Test
@TheAlexNevil: 2017 Resolution: spend more quality time with my son *son begins describing his 500 new Pokémon cards* Well, there's always next year
@LizHackett: Hi, famous people getting DUIs. You know you can probably afford a driver, right? Just a thought.
@eddiesteadyno: Thank you for clarifying that you'd bite me with your teeth, my mind was running wild with all the possible things you could bite me with.