@Thynebear: if a cop pulls u over play dead
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@Jesssicle: Some of you take selfies from so close up, I'm beginning to wonder if you're a T-Rex.
@sad_tree: *a dog sits down at a roulette table and pushes his life savings in chips to the center* Put it all on Grey
@panmidwest: Ok, all you people who adopt dogs and put "who rescued who?" stickers on your car... you drive me crazy! Clearly it's "who rescued whom?"
@animadvertguy: [Sky-diving] INSTRUCTOR: pull your shute! ME: my shoe? INSTRUCTOR: your parachute! ME: my pair of shoes? [later] CORONER: where's his shoes?