@GrantTanaka: If a cop yells at you to GET DOWN just start twerking cause damn, dude, be more specific
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@SortaBad: *practices like 1000 times in the mirror* [at Starbucks] "One grander none-fatty flaparinno" barista: ... "I'll try again tomorrow"
@Rlpihl: [Family Feud] What's your answer?! *whispers into microphone* Please help me, I don't even know these people
@lazy_joe_: Ice Ice Baby, Ice Ice Baby All right stop, Collaborate and listen This frozen baby needs to see a physician
@TheDailySchmuck: First, Ray Rice. Now, Adrian Peterson. The prison football league is going to be off the chain this year.