@longwall26: If a deadly alligator appears in the instant after you tell your friends you'll see them later there is literally no way to warn them
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@TheWoodenslurpy: I bet dogs at parties get tired of being singled out by socially awkward humans.
@SincerelyTumblr: Me: can remember the lyrics to 898989 different songs. Me: forgets what i had for dinner yesterday
@tastefactory: My neighbors complain about me throwing my cigarette butts on the lawn but they'll be pumped when a cigarette tree sprouts in the spring