@xJLynn: If a dentist makes his money off unheathly teeth,why should I trust a toothbrush 4 out of 5 dentist approve?
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@UnderTheJewFro: If someone ever challenges you to a fight, pull your pants off and chase them crotch first. I'm currently undefeated with this method.
@jimmytorosian: Wife: I told you to baby proof the house! Me: I did. That baby has no chance if it comes in here. The bear traps will make sure of that.
@LnL245: [Checking in at Comic Con] Attendant: How long did you spend on your cosplay? Me: Seven months A: *Hands me a badge marked "Casual"*
@KittyShittyy: If I had ten cookies and you took one,what would you have? That's correct. A black eye and broken hand.