@omgthatspunny: If a dog has puppies in a public place, can they be arrested for littering?
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@huntigula: fun prank: go observe the newborns at the hospital & if someone asks which is yours say "I haven't decided yet" while sobbing uncontrollably
@ibid78: Probably the hardest part about being a dj is when you get into a fight and you gotta hold your headphones up to your ear with one shoulder.
@Cherbearxo: The secret to sustaining a happy marriage is to keep the mystery alive. So tonight I decided to clean something unexpectedly.