@MrGeorgeWallace: If a gang attacks U say you're on their side & U brought them "gang supplies". They'll let you go to the car to get the supplies. Drive away
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@DaddyJew: I'll have a salad but on top of a burger with cheese "So you want a cheeseburger?" Yes but when you bring it to me say here's your salad
@GreenEyedLoon: Shave legs ?? Bikini wax ?? Lose 10 lbs ?? Pluck eyebrows ?? Mani/pedi ?? Sexy panties ?? Ready for my big *date! *gynecologist
@FatherWithTwins: 4yo: *shoots me with gun* *stuffs gun in my pocket* *runs away* Me: *Realizes he just made it look like a suicide* *keeping an eye on him*
@UncleDuke1969: My daughter, filling out a college app, called me at home to get my home number. Big shout out to the ex-wife for pissing in my gene pool.