@katiefzack: If a guy runs his fingers through your hair, there is a 33.3% chance you are being used as a napkin.
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@gmossii: My dog understands four words: his name, food, outside and Antidisestablishmentarianism.
@jennifereblue: I don't remember all of last night but the fact I needed sunglasses to open the fridge this morning tells me it was awesome!
@SeanINCypress: Beer is so smart that if you drink enough, right around your midsection, it builds a shelf for you to rest bottles on.