@SaraMansford: If a guy tells you he makes 6 figures a year it doesn't necessarily mean he's rich. He could be a really lazy guy working at a toy factory.
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@007Pepe_Rex: [At the Grand Canyon] Me: I L o v e T h i s P l a c e [ECHO] [ECHO] GC: Let's just be friends
@sumpeoplelikeit: If you ask me where your glasses are, and they're on your head, I will help you look for them forever.
@Jamie1947: A video montage of all the times my foot, still wet from the shower, has clung to my underwear as I pull them on, and I've lost my balance.