@ieatanddrink: If a guy wants to call a woman ugly online a window should pop up where he has to upload pictures of all the women he's slept with
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@AmishPornStar1: Hate when I lay out too close to the shoreline and the other beach goers team up to try to push me back in the water.
@lazerdoov: I like to picture my mom in the middle of the crowd at a Wu Tang concert, hands on her hips, just shouting grammar corrections back at them
@BassoonJokes: RIP that guy in the audience of the eric clapton unplugged session whose head literally exploded when he realized the song was "layla"