@smedlee: If a lady ever jumped out of my cake goddamnit she better be holding more cake
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@fro_vo: Evil Queen: mirror- Hand Mirror: what Evil Queen: mirror- Hand Mirror: WHAT Evil Queen: on the wall Hand Mirror: oh shit sorry
@ManJuggs: Just overheard the gentleman in the next stall whisper "get out of me" and then start to cry. God I hate the Olive Garden.
@TheScamJoanne: *two minor inconveniences happen at the same time* me: *needs to lie down for 3 days*
@SaraESpivey: When my ex worked out of town, he would take my vibrators away from me. Said I was cheating on him w/them. He shoulda taken his brother too.