@stellarjulez808: If a mad scientist ever clones me, throw a cube of cheese in the air. The faster one is me.
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@KateWhineHall: If I ever really want my kids' attention I can just make a YouTube video of me "unboxing" whatever I need to say.
@AthenaMystique: Canadians have to stick together. Really, it's the massive amounts of maple syrup. They don't have much of a choice.
@BuckyIsotope: WIFE: *yells into basement* Our savings account is entirely empty. Do you know what happened? ME: *assembling robot monkey butler* No idea